Melinda had never been so frightened.

The bulbous nature made it seem larger than it really was, and in its basket: there was a clown.

Her hands were sweaty, so the balloon squeaked as she struggled not to drop it, when suddenly —POP!

Her parents were going to disown her: leave her on the sidewalk in front of the San Jose Tech Museum.

Melinda had sudden PTSD flashbacks of Elmo and the Cookie Monster, but then she remembered she didn’t like cookies anyway so she didn’t care.

It had been painted blue for Christmas, and the whale hated showering so it never washed off, except near its mouth where there was a bunch of cheese from Domino’s pizza.

They put their CheezITs into the atm, and watched as the dough flowed out, but watched in despair as Swiper ate it all.

“GeorgiaTech’s peaches all got canned, though, and the nerds all left, so I came back to bother you and brought Sid the Sloth,” Swiper complained.

So Melinda took the ukulele, although it was awkward, and strummed the soulful strings until a bee flew into her nose and she sneezed.

Being called elitist was such a big insult that Melinda grew purple and started blowing up in anger.

Note: read in conjunction with “swiper swiping!” this might make sense (it still won’t). alternate
sentences, starting with “(no)”.