Shattering Glass

Prologue

A beautiful golden path shone, bathed in the light from the setting sun. The grass around it: a bright, healthy shade of green. Flowers bloomed and birds chirped, flying across the breathtaking violet sky, the first stars beginning to peep out from wherever they frolicked during the day. The dark blue waves of mother nature’s skirt spreads across the shoreline, a constant melody of the sirens humming in the background. A silhouette of a girl stands before another path, a long path of nothing but melodies, her back turned to the wonders of the world. As she thrusts her arms out wide, welcoming the universe and its many treasures in, a fairytale dream come true, slippery and hard to hold onto, soared from her grasp. Its pages turning and tumbling through the inescapable void of twilight.

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“Once upon a time…” I whisper, tracing the golden words, my finger following each curve and edge. 

“There was a beautiful, kind, hardworking girl named Ella.” My mouth curved up, eyes bright as I stared at the sweet girl in my book. Her face was happy, laughing.

“Her golden hair was like sunshine, framing her face in soft waves. Eyes as blue as the sky.” I touch my own curls, hills and valleys of a distant land called desert.

“She had both a loving father and a loving mother. A mother who had died when she was very small, and a merchant father who was always away.” I closed my eyes and sigh, a single tear fell from my eyes before I opened them again and kept reading.

“Because Ella’s father loved her, and wanted someone to care for her when he was away, he remarried.” I stopped reading as Father walked in and wrenched my fairytale from my hands.

“You need to understand that you can’t keep on living in a fantasy. It’s not right.” He scolded, wagging his finger in my face. I grit my teeth in anger.

“You don’t understand what it’s like to have a dream.”

“Dreams are for when you’re sleeping.” Father said, his voice filled with reproach.

“No, they’re not. I can make my dream come true.” I spat in anger.

“Can you now? And what dream is that?”

“I’m going to be like Cinderella. I’m going to find a fairytale prince to make me princess.” I say, smiling at the thought.

Father laughed in disbelief. “Well! Good luck with that! We live on an island, Estelle. I wonder what kind of prince will voyage across the vast ocean to find you? Why, you’re just a stupid little girl. Who would want you?”

Tears come to my eyes as I glare at Father. “Mother wanted me…” I whisper, smiling as his mask of indifference crumbled away. It was back in a second, but that small victory felt like everything.

“That’s right. It’s your fault she’s gone.” I continue wickedly. “You killed her.”

Father growled. “I did not. She was just too weak. You’re just like her, Estelle. Just as pathetic.”

Then, he knelt down. “Remember how much she loved you? How spoiled you were? How ridiculous? Now, look at yourself. I turned you into someone with value.”

I screamed. “No! The only value you see in me is when you ship me off to listen to another man. Another, wretched, awful, manipulative man!”

He smiled calmly. “Yes, of course. That’s why women exist. They live to serve men.”

I pushed him away from me. “I serve no one.”

“Keep telling yourself that, little one.”

“I’m 15.” I remind him.

“Yes, you are. You’re 15 and still believe in fairytales. For goodness sake, Estelle. It’s all fictional!” He exclaimed, pulling me back into his reach by my sleeve.

Another chilling smile. “Estelle. You should give up on your dream. There will be no Prince Charming. I’ve already wed you to another.” 

My blue eyes widened in horror. “No, you didn’t.” 

“I did. Your brother will send you off tonight.” Father said, stroking my cheek. For once I didn’t pull away, in shock. He laughed at my still form, then walked away.

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I sat there for who knows how long, until my brother, Ernest  slipped quietly into my room, holding me still by my waist.

“You should pack your bags, Estelle.” He said quietly, sitting down next to me.

For the first time since Father left the room, I let my tears spill over. “How could he do this to me?”

“What did you expect? He’s a cruel, horrible father.”

I turn to my brother. “Exactly.” I wiped my tears with the sleeve Father yanked. “I have a plan. Ernest, please. Ask him for me. Tell him that I demand freedom. I’m not going to live by someone else’s rules. It’s not right. You know it’s not.”

My wonderful, kind brother, who I had known for so long, stiffened at my words. His back straightened. He turned back towards me. I squeak in shock. Where his face should have been, it was nothing but a mask. A mask that covered his true emotions. A mask like Father’s. “It’s not right for me to help you. I will walk you to your new family tonight. You will not complain.”

“Ernest!” I choked. “Don’t you remember what happened? Don’t you remember Mother dancing in the meadow, bathing in the glow of the setting sun? Don’t you remember how her golden hair flew behind her as she ran through the flowers?  Don’t you remember holding her hand, me in her arms? Don’t you remember how Father stood aside? His arms crossed, frowning at our foolishness?

“I didn’t care, Ernest. I was happy with Mother and you, my favorite people in the world. I didn’t care about Father. He was just a shadow, dark like the night that was coming. We were the stars, pinpoints of light flickering in the universe. He didn’t care about us… Mother would never want this to be my future. She would never want me to suffer like this.”

Ernest flinched, as if I had hit him, closing his eyes, blue like mine. He stayed so still for so long, that I had to check if he was still breathing. 

“Do you still remember Mother’s face, streaked with red, the blossoms blooming faster by the minute?’ Ernest whispered against his better judgement.

“Her sage green gown had changed colors faster than a traffic light. 

“She still smiled at me, Estelle. Smiled!

“She begged me to promise something I knew I couldn’t fulfill. ‘Promise me, Ernest,’ she said, ‘Promise me that you’ll make the most out of your life’ she whispered, stroking my cheek as father stood behind her, holding the blade that caused so much pain.

“I made the worst mistake of my life by telling her the words ‘I promise.’

“She was so kind, so understanding even as she shuddered with pain.

“Do you know what else Mother asked of me? She asked me to keep you safe and give you a life you deserve.

“I asked her: ‘why? Why are you acting like you’re leaving? Can’t you just stay…’ The last thing I said to her was full of anger. My voice trailed off as Mother closed her blue eyes.

“Your  eyes widened then, Estelle. You asked the one question that would always haunt me: ‘Where’s Mother going? Why can’t she stay? Can I go?’”

Ernest’s voice broke, and as it did, my heart chipped, like the wonderful tea set Cinderella owned. “Ernest? If you want me to have a life I deserve, then help me escape this future.”

He grew cold then. “No. I’m done making promises. Pack your things. Hurry up.

Impatient, he walks across the room and grabs one of my bags, throwing books and shoes inside. The zipper made a horrible sound, as horrible as the sound nails make on a blackboard.

Once done, Ernest turned towards my closet, grabbing clothes and throwing them into an open suitcase. The pile grew higher and higher, before the lid slammed down, and the clasps clicked together.

Ernest shoved my things towards me, the suitcase handle into my palms, bag slung over my shoulder.

I didn’t resist, I couldn’t feel myself anymore. The weight of my belongings was nothing compared to what I felt. The person that I had counted on to help me turned against me.

I thought he cared…

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I didn’t fight back as they shoved me into a fancy ship with someone I didn’t even know existed. I didn’t feel anything as I watched Ernest mouth I’m sorry. What’s the point of his sorrow for me, if he doesn’t even care enough to help?

Yet, as I looked at Father, with his wretched face, that smile, his white teeth gleaming as he shipped me off with a stranger, I felt my anger boil. My ears rang with a strange humming, I could almost feel myself vibrating.

Curse him. Curse him with all the villains in my fairytales. 

As the island, my home, grew farther and farther away, I finally turned to look at this stranger sitting beside me, squirming as his gaze focused on me.

“Who are you? What’s your name?” I ask, trying to keep my fury inside of me.

He smiled. “Hello, Estelle. My name is Ethan.” He reaches out to me, as I flinch.

Ethan… No, it’s just a coincidence. Just a coincidence that he shares Father’s name. Just a coincidence… Please let it be just a coincidence!

I look at this stranger with his chocolate hair, sapphires for eyes. I may have blushed if I weren’t being forced upon him. But I was. 

He leaned closer. “Why are you so far away, Estelle?” He asked, his voice mellow and calm. “Here, I’ll help you.”

He reached out to my waist and pulled me closer. “You’re not afraid of me, are you, Estelle?”

I wanted to scream, wanted to shout, but every time I opened my mouth to speak, my voice would be stolen. By the villain of my life. Perhaps I’m not so much like Cinderella. Perhaps more like The Little Mermaid…

And yet, as I struggled to speak, I knew that one of his actions would bring me back the familiar vibrations of my vocal cords.

I could almost thank him when his grip on me became constricting, pinning my arms down, forcing me to stay still.

That was where I drew my imaginary line.

“Let me go!” I squeal, squirming as his lips brushed my neck.

I flailed pointlessly, my arms still wriggling from underneath him. He didn’t budge, not until I got a good kick at his gut.

Immediately, I raced out of that room of this terrible ship. I fled to where the captain was steering. “Turn back! I’ve—I’ve forgotten something!” I gasp.

If I tell him what truly happened, he may not listen…

The captain spun the wheel around, and my stomach lurched in unpleasant ways. I climbed onto the deck, where Ethan’s men were working. The wind against my face was exhilarating. 

I wonder where else I can get this feeling of freedom?

The ocean sprayed the deck as the huge vessel sliced through its waters. I raced to the railing, reaching out my hand, touching the freezing cold water, as the song of the sirens told me to do so. I stayed, reaching for another’s calling voice, as the familiar shape of my island home became clearer and clearer…

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The moment the ship docked, I raced to my house. Father’s furious face loomed into my view as he walked swiftly, grabbing me by the arms. “What are you doing back here?” he hissed in anger. 

I notice my brother, standing on our front porch. I knew by the way he was looking at me, with the state of my clothes, that he knew exactly why I was back.

It was as if the previous coldness Ernest displayed was gone. He stared at me in horror as I threw myself at him, relief coursing through my veins to see someone I loved. 

Father stalked towards me, ripping me away from Ernest. “I asked you a question.”

“I forgot something.” I mumble, “let me go get it.”

I grabbed Ernest by the wrist as I walked through the door, then ran to my room. “What did that boy do to you?” Ernest whispered as I tore through my things.

“Oh, it’s really nothing. Just held me down, pinning my arms until they turned a lovely shade of purple, ripped my clothes, tore my hair out…” I mutter as I dig.

“Right, nothing…” Ernest growled. “How could he do this to you?”

I look at him. “What did you expect? He’s a cruel, terrible, excuse of a man.”

He crosses the room in just two strides. “I’m sorry.”

“I know. But it won’t matter now. I know what I’m going to do, since you won’t help me escape this life ahead of me.”

I found it. My fairytale. “I’m never going to be like Cinderella. I’ve been studying the wrong fairytale. I should have been reading the one where a girl’s voice gets stolen because of something she never should have wished for.”

Ernest’s face twists in confusion. “Your plan?”

I sigh. “I’m going to where Mother went.”

He gasps in horror. “No, Estelle.”

“I don’t want this anymore, Ernest. I’m tired of not having a mother. The magic that I’ve created from my imagination, from this life, has ended. The glass slipper is gone. The clock has struck midnight, Ernest. You can’t turn back time. Just like you can’t make the wonderful time we had with Mother come back.”

“But, but… What about me?” Ernest squeaks, “what am I supposed to do now?” He throws his arms around me. “Don’t go, Estelle.”

“You can do whatever pleases you, Ernest. But, I’ve already made my choice,” I looked at my brother who was crumbling apart, “the song of the sirens pulls me towards the sea. I am absolutely enchanted with their voice.”

My wonderful, kind brother cried in horror. I walk to my window, climbing onto the ledge. “Don’t tell Father…”

“He wouldn’t care anyways.” Ernest wept, reaching out to take my hand. 

“Don’t go…” he begged again.

I slip out of the window, sparing a small smile. “Promise me, Ernest. Promise me that you’ll make the most out of your life.” I whisper, stroking his cheek through the window.

His shoulder shook in grief. I hated making him do this again. I don’t even know why I did it. He had made it so very clear he was done with promises.

“I promise.” His voice slices through the silence, like how a ship slices through the vast oceans.

Then, I ran off, the fairytale, the life of Cinderella in my hands. I couldn’t call it my fairytale anymore. It was the life of someone else. Someone who has so much more luck than me. As I reached the bottom of the island cliffs, with its size and height, I’ve never felt smaller. Never felt more useless.

Placing my hands on the cold, rough, unsympathetic cliff, I get a good grip of this obstacle to my goal. Hopefully not the obstacle that would ruin me, like Father, like Ethan did.

I have a long way to go…

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I stand at the top of the cliffs, gazing at the setting sun behind me, then at the violet sky ahead of me, where the first stars were beginning to come out, the sound of the sirens ringing in my ears. I look at Cinderella and her perfect happily ever after one more time, before throwing it into the winds, letting the coming darkness swallow that fantasy, watching the pages flutter like the wings of butterflies that were Mother’s dancing partners, as it splashes into the ocean. 

It’s not my fairytale. It’s time for the glass slipper to shatter with the voice that will soon be mine.

I plant my feet at the edge of the cliffs, gazing down at the shoreline, where my future would be. With the seafolk that had a voice to sing, to laugh, to reject.

The birds called to me, as if their cries could convince me to stay. I smile, feeling just a bit happier that at least someone other than Ernest wanted me to stay on this beautiful island I called home. But, truly, what’s the point if nothing I do will ever be good enough for the one person alive I consider my ‘parent’? So, without looking back at the beauties of my home again, I throw myself off the cliff.

To my surprise, I laughed the whole way down. Laughed as the wind slammed into me, my golden hair flying behind me, eyes watering. I spread my arms out wide, feeling the full impact of the winds.

Oh, it’s wonderful! How exhilarating! So this is what freedom feels like! 

I closed my eyes, knowing that my entire world would be blue after this. Because I never wanted to forget Ernest, and how was I supposed to find Mother in the world of melodies if I couldn’t remember her? If I couldn’t remember the way she had danced in the beautiful meadow everyday before her death.
I landed in the water, feeling the bubbles against my skin, my dress flaring out, the ocean enveloping me, almost like an overwhelming hug. 

I held my breath for as long as I could, but the feel of suffocation eventually caught up to me. I tilted my head back, forcing my eyes to open. The sun had completely set, and all I could see was the dark surface of the ocean, with small pinpoints of light in the sky. I opened my mouth in wonder that I could still see the stars, even though I was drowning.

Breathtaking…

My body seized as the last bubbles of air escaped from my throat, I didn’t struggle at all. My path, the path that I had built for myself to get to where Mother was, was almost open. As the last wisps of the girl Estelle who wanted to be a princess vanished, I felt an arm gently grip my arms, cradling me, a song ringing in my ears, telling me to resist the temptation to die, to wake up…

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Epilogue

The song of the sirens rang across the ocean, a longing of one of the seafolk, begging for something they could never have. A boy sits by the sea, waiting, always waiting for his sister to emerge from the ocean. His fingers touch the delicate page of a fairytale about a girl whose voice was stolen because she wished for something she could never have. He sighs, his face in the golden glow of the setting sun, violet skies behind him, where the first pinpoints of light were beginning to come out.

In the depths of the vast ocean, a young girl with golden hair like the sun, and blue eyes like the sky lay on the sandy ocean floor, unmoving except for some movement in the wrist. A pair of dark blue eyes watches her twitch and squirm, watching as her legs turn into a beautiful golden tail, her face becoming paler and paler, faint golden scales forming slowly along the girl’s pale arms. A faint melody vibrates through her throat, familiar and soothing and dark blue eyes crinkle as the figure smiles.

The girl slowly opens her eyes in confusion, searching for someone else whom she expected. Instead, another figure, the figure: the boy, swims out with a smile. 

The girl whispers, in a sweet voice “who are you? What’s your name?” Her hand flying to her throat as if in surprise, big blue eyes widening as she stares at the boy. He looks fairly normal, yet his lower half is a dark blue tail.

““Hello, little princess. My name is Arian. I’m a siren; the siren lord. What’s your name?” His voice, mellow and calm, irresistible, yet caring. He reaches out to the girl, and without any hesitation, the girl returns his smile, and takes his hand.