Hotel Room

Milk chocolate eyes whisper

At stucco ceilings at a cheap motel that we pooled

Our stupid little earnings to get. You said

If not now, then never. Let’s get away. I heard

Your breath and your finger hooking mine

And I told you I couldn’t wait. My mind rang

Kids, kids, kids. We are too bright to sustain. 

We live in tangles that can only be torn apart.

Live in the now. The now is a dingy room

Under an orange light. The now is a lie to myself

And a bleeding heart for you. 

The now is tracing the curve of your smile 

And leting myself sink into a half-cursed bliss. 

I wring myself clear. I brace myself and

My muscles tighten. The now is 

Beauty personified, thoughts skipping

Through our heads. We connect. 

Nowhere in this world will I find you. 

You lie to me. I lie to you. I lie to me. 

I pray that I can absolve myself

Of everything you brought me. I pray

To stroke you gossamer-soft.

I imagine you infinity, 

Larger than you could be. 

We are kids, we cannot yet feel. We dream

Too large, ingest too far, 

Burn out before we can breathe.

The worst thing I could do for me is to have you, 

Your moonlit silhouette extending, extending. 

The worst thing you could do for me 

Is to tear us apart, crimson pouring 

Out of my severed body, and leave me alone.