Waterborne
Helina Li | Art by Diya Mirji
The water licks my toes,
hungry, cold, luring me forward,
a dying serpent leading into
the choked ocean so crowded with
little dots, little human figures that
I know some of them
will never rise
again.
The water licks my toes
again I step back, cautious.
I don’t want to join
them drowning.
The sky crackles and the water levels
rise, expand, the snake shifting
a heavy up, a thunderous down,
carrying with it humanoid figures
laughing, shouting, diving
forward, forward, forward—
the river carries them forward.
A head upstream swings
over bare shoulder,
a million dead stars
in her eyes, the water around her
an opaque, alluring dress:
for a second, perhaps she is
a water spirit, a goddess.
But her mouth opens,
her lips stretching, straining
around an empty cavern
wind rushes in, forcing
its way down her throat
her shortened tongue thrashing
forming words learned long ago—
words still
unforgotten.
I step forward
to hear those words but
wind keeps rushing
in my ears, her mouth—
wind takes everything.
The water around her rises again;
she sinks beneath her dress,
eyes wide open, lips still moving—
not even bubbles rise.
My body lurches forward:
Don’t go! Please don’t—
Words tear out, die
on the sandy shore;
too weak, too clumsy
too far away.
I almost fall to my knees
when she appears again:
features even smoother,
dress darker, tighter,
twining around her torso,
a harness.
She gives me one more wave
a speck against gray sky;
her mouth forms one more word.
Come.
I take one more step:
the sand slides out
underneath me—
The current shoves me
forward with a roar
so cold that it steals my breath,
so strong that my eyes shut
my limbs start struggling,
go up, go forward, move
don’t stay or I’ll drown,
breathe, swim, breathe,
kick, kick, kick—
My head breaks the surface,
a small mop of hair
in the middle of the river,
another piece of debris
it has picked up.
My wet clothes drag me down;
I shrug them off, letting waves
curl around me, give me
the same dress—skin—body—face
as the girl.
My legs become a tail
and I don’t hesitate;
I start kicking forward.