AITA For Disciplining My Son?
Excuse any grammatical errors, Reddit, I’m still furious!
I (42M) have been married to “Ella” (22F) for a month now. We met on Tinder a few months after my ex-wife, “Jane” (43F) ended things with me. We have an 18 year old son, “Thomas” who I have joint custody of (I see him over the weekends).
Anyways, an event happened this past weekend that aggravated me (which is unusual, because I’m a very understanding person). It was Thomas’ birthday, and Jane wanted us to celebrate it all together as a family. Of course, I took that to mean Ella would be invited as well, since she is a part of the family. When I showed up, though, Jane was FUMING and she almost did not let Ella come in. Thomas found us and asked his mom to let us both in, because his friends were here and he didn’t want to be embarrassed. He also said he had an announcement to make and he didn’t want any of us to miss it.
After cake, Thomas got up in front of everyone and announced that he had been admitted into Harvard and wanted to commit that day. Jane and his friends were very enthusiastic, but I’m obviously more logically-minded than them. I told Thomas that I was disappointed that he applied to these schools without me knowing, and that I wouldn’t fund his education there. Ella is finishing up her last year at the local community college, and I wanted Thomas to go there as well, so he has a parental figure to guide him through college. Jane asked me if I was joking, and when I said no, she informed me that she would have no trouble paying for his education herself, and that I wouldn’t need to be a part of it at all.
I told her that it wasn’t the money I was worried about (I have been extremely lucky in the stock market and I’m with a lucrative investment firm and I also own two Teslas), but more so with the fact that Harvard is a prissy school that doesn’t teach any real skills. I also voiced my thoughts about having Ella there to guide him in community college.
When he heard that, Thomas started SCREAMING. He said that he didn’t need anyone to guide him through college, that he didn’t want his dad’s wife out of all people, and that it was super creepy of me to be married to someone so close to his age anyways. I think he hadn’t mentioned Ella to his friends either, because I saw them pointing at her and looking confused. I told him to apologize to Ella and put my foot down again about letting him go to Harvard. He started crying and stormed off.
I did not raise my son to be weak. Seeing him be so frail and start crying disgusted me. I knew that his mom (who he inherited his weak mind from) wouldn’t discipline him, so I took matters into my own hands. I don’t believe in traditional punishments like taking phones away or spanking—I craft specific punishments that I believe fit the situation.
I figured that since he didn’t want to act like a man, I would make sure he didn’t feel like one at home either. I hired a team of interior designers to renovate his room at his mom’s house while they were both out (visiting Harvard without even consulting me!). I told them that I had a daughter who would move in there, so they renovated it to make it look like a Barbie DreamHouse. It has a lot of pink everywhere now, with stupid frilly and girly shenanigans all littered around. It was a big change from his normal white room with posters of rock bands. I put out pamphlets for cooking school and magazines with fashion tips because he insists on being so unmasculine.
When Thomas came back and saw his room, he called me up and started cussing me out through the phone. He said that I was completely insane and that he couldn’t believe that any father would be so cruel to his son. I told him that I’m not being cruel in any way, and that the room was just a preview of what he would face in Harvard. I said that the school is full of prissy, pretentious folk who stare at books all day and have never even lifted an axe to chop down a tree. He would go even softer there, and I honestly told him that I was just looking out for him so he can be the strong man that was the norm before women got the right to vote. Thomas was quiet for a minute, so I thought I was getting through to him, but then he said that I was crazy and he hung up the phone.
They are now in the process of filing a restraining order against me, and Ella is finalizing our divorce (she gets half of my money due to our prenuptial agreement. And all of this simply because I wanted to have my only son lead a good life! So, Reddit, what do you think? AITA for disciplining my son?
hey OP? get help.
edit: thanks for the awards!!
*if you don’t know the reddit slang or this subreddit, consider yourself lucky. anyways, we all deserve a barbie-themed room <3