tightrope

tightrope

Akshara Taraniganty | Art by Livia Zhu

Trigger Warning: suicide mentioned

hold me 

and believe me and trust me and soothe me

put your hand on my cheek and stroke lightly

your ghost of a touch will comfort me

at least a bit, right?

 

it’s like i’m slipping

my sanity leaving in ink-black ripples

that cloud my vision, burn my eyes out

and i’ve been on this tightrope for years, love,

the city stretching below

the mindless chatter from the people underneath

 

i think about plunging sometimes

i don’t think i’ve told you

but the fear keeps me here

teetering infinitely

will i hit solid ground? will i vanish?

will the people be happy to see me? 

i’m just so, so scared

 

so wrap your arms around me

comfort me, whisper tender words into my ear

grasp for my fingers 

and bring them to your heart

as the music plays in the background

 

i’m still trying everything

to keep you with me

i’m still holding on to whatever you give me

i still hold you so close to my heart

i think you are the reason i stay

you are the reason i haven’t fallen yet

 

you are the warmth on a cold day. 

you are the prospect of something greater

my saving grace

my barriers crumbling down

the one who i will trust to catch me if i slip

the one i let into my bottomless soul

 

and as the frost creeps toward us

your warmth saves me

i’m still on this tightrope 

my yearns unheard to everyone but you

and the glow of what we have

wards my sadness away temporarily

 

but right now, in this moment

temporary is enough