weightless

we killed clocks that night. young and wild

and dopamine-drunk, we covered our bodies

in glitter. you took me to a carnival

at the boardwalk and we rode a ferris wheel.

ascending: this is what it means

to be weightless. invincible.

to ignore all their warnings

because i love your eyes, your mouth,

and you love the sunbeams in my hair,

roses in my cheeks.pretty girl.

you would never do that to me too. you,

throwing me candies, stepping on all the other girls.

watching me eat half a donut, wrapping your arms

around my waist. don’t get fat. you,

soothing my sobs until a smile lit my face.

forcing me to cry for no damn reason.

cry.  i want to see.you,

sticking your finger-bullet into places not to touch.

i am teaching myself forgetfulness,

learning the taste of salt on my tongue.

i am taking in all their bald stares.

submerged in bathtub-water,

i take to my navel, twist the knife around

like seeding an avocado.

i watch flesh-flecks blossom,

trickle. i hunger. i hurt.