Beyond the Mist

Nobody ever wanted me to dream too big. Don’t do what you’re not supposed to. Just stay where you are like everyone else. 

I had always been rather quiet at school or at home, just keeping my head down. I never really pushed myself towards anything. There was always this lingering sense of ambition inside of me; that little devil on my shoulder daring me to step out of my comfort zone for once. That small urge to do something crazy. But somehow, I never ignited that spark. That desire to achieve “more” was impossible for me. I didn’t know who I was. 

I had to figure it out. 

I set abroad, ready to test myself, for once. I mounted a coat and some boots and ventured out into the freezing winter terrain. Step after step, I marched up to my ultimate test. I looked up to the towering mountains, their frosty peaks stained with wisdom and time as they hid behind the allusive mist up in the air. I took a step on the rocky trail, my boots crunching on the uneven ground, each step carrying more weight than the other. The air had never smelled so pure in my life, wrapping around my face and filling my nostrils with a freezing, yet painful sensation as I ventured up towards the summit. The seemingly gentle snowflakes came down aggressively on my face, forcing me to wipe my eyes. The wild wind dared me to turn back. 

I knew I wasn’t supposed to be here. 

I had no map, no plan, nothing. Just a summit to conquer. But I had nobody to constrain me. Or save me. 

As I ascended through the path, my heart began to race, and my mind started to slow. I could barely breathe, yet it felt like I was in heaven. Or at least close to it. I kept pushing, my desire to break from the chains that held me down all my life was the fuel pushing me to move forward. I sharply exhaled, struggling to breathe as the fog transformed from a vision into a reality, clouding my vision with uncertainty. I trembled with exhaustion and fear as I fought against the unforgiving slope, forcing myself to keep going. 

I couldn’t anymore. 

My knees were begging for mercy, finally running out of steam. I tried to stay up, but my body was giving up on me. All this for nothing?

The burning light behind my eyes flickered, then went out. I was a mere straw house amid a hurricane, destined to be taken down. 

I crashed onto the rocky terrain, the jagged rocks punching my face. The taste of dirt bullied my mouth as I felt blood slowly cascade down my cheek, soon filling my mouth with its metallic flavor. My eyes shut out. 

“Take my hand,” a voice whispered in the howling wind.

I pried my eyes open. Nobody was there. I didn’t know if it was real, or just a thought. Even in the most down to Earth moment in my life, I seemed to be failing to grasp things completely. There was no way someone would be up here to bail me out. I had to be alone.

But then it was there again. 

“Come.” 

I sat up, using the last ounce of strength in me to track my hidden savior. I was only met by the screaming wind, mocking me for being so hopeful.

Yes, indeed. Light. A faint, yet faithful shimmer. 

I didn’t even want to be saved. I wanted to be at peace, no longer a prisoner of the indecisiveness that tortured me all my life. 

But I stumbled back onto my feet. I was met with a one-of-a-kind pain, my body screaming for me to let in. Just give it a rest. 

No. Not yet. It was as if there was a tiny angel on my shoulder, convincing me to move forward. 

I dragged myself towards the light, my feet being sliced by the unforgiving path. I took one painful step, then another, as the weight of my conscience and body started to leave me. I ventured into the light, unable to feel myself. I was simply another soul plagued with pain. Soon, as the light became too bright for my eyes to bear, I fell to my knees. I could do no more. 

I looked up, and there she was. Beautiful, yet terrifying. A figure of great power, yet the symbol of mercy and grace. Her glamorous wings engulfed my body as my mind came to a stop. “Let go.” 

And so I did.